A Letter To My Younger Self

I follow TEDTalks on Twitter and Facebook.  Recently there was a post about writing a letter to a younger you.  What advice would you give?  What tid bits would you give to your younger self?  Dance Spirit magazine also does a feature every month where they choose a dancer to write their former self. In light of both of these, I decided that maybe it was about time to write a letter to a young BalletJ. 

(A young BalletJ, circa 1998, hip hop costume!)

A Letter To My Younger Self

Dear Young BalletJ,

You are a free spirit.  You thrive on creativity and don’t often follow the beaten path.  At times, it’s hard, particularly since you always want to be so accepted by your peers.  However, this difficulty is what makes you realize that it’s not worth it later on in life.  The things that you have done in your childhood, teen years, and young adult life- the hours of dancing, the creative stories you’ve written, the effort you’ve made to make music a part of your life (even if you did despise those private flute lessons for a long time),  your decision to stay straight edge- they have all made you a better person today.

Don’t take things too seriously.   Laugh every so often at yourself. Your teachers are going to get mad at you (come on, you know you’re stubborn!).   You may be threatened to get kicked out of class once or twice for having hair fall in your face.  Your teachers may push your buttons to the point where you want to walk out of class, but stick to the dancing.  Remember that your emotions may run high, but acting as a professional will get your farther along in your career as both dancer and teacher if you remain calm.  You are only treated this way by these people because believe that you can handle it.  They wouldn’t push you if they didn’t think it was worth it.

There’s the thing- you ARE worth it!  Believe in yourself!  You are often so doubtful in your capabilities as a dancer that you don’t just GO for it!  Push yourself to your limits.  Reach a little farther, tilt a little more on your leg, push that straddle down a little more- it will all pay off.   Your teachers clearly trust in your capabilities, so you should, too! 

Do what makes you happy.  If going into dance is making you miserable, then don’t go to class.  I can guarantee you that you will only go through one period in your life where you won’t want to dance.  Remember that dance is your passion, and that you love it.  Dance has always been what makes you happy, even through the injuries, the broken hearts, the criticisms, and the disasters.  It’s been your only constant in life, and it will continue to be your constant.  No matter what anyone tells you- “it doesn’t pay enough” “you’ll never make a living off of it” “it’s not a real job” “what are you going to do when you want to retire?” “you’re not good enough to make it anywhere” etc- you will always have it.  That drive to prove everyone wrong will help, but it’s your tenacity to follow your dreams that will keep you hungry for dance.

You are unique.  You are a good person.  You LOVE dance.  Don’t lose that.  These qualities better your chances for being where you want to be.  Always continue to grow and learn, and never ever lose your hunger for more. 

Keep those feet pointed!
An Older Wiser BalletJ

Thankfulness

I apologize for not updating recently (or within the past 2 months). My summer schedule to my fall schedule always hits me like a ton of bricks, and I tend to let things like this blog go the wayside. However, with the holidays coming up, I have more inspiration to write and the growing desire to write about my passions.

So for today, I am inspired by Thanksgiving! It is only 3 days away, and I am so excited! Since November 1st, I have been posting on my personal Facebook page statuses about what I am thankful for this year. It's been a way for me to remember that yes, there is a holiday between Halloween and Christmas, and a way to keep myself grounded. Thanksgiving isn't just about the gluttony of the season. It's about the people who made the long journey from England to a land unfamiliar to them. It's about their sacrifices and their survival; their determination to make a new life, even though they lost over half of their original crew. It is about being thankful for all that they had after they had lost so much.

In this spirit, I would like to talk about what I am thankful for in the dance world. And there is SO much to be thankful for!

I am thankful for ballet. As the base for all dance, I am thankful that I can pass on its importance to so many students. Even if they don't love it, they learn to appreciate it.

I am thankful for shows like So You Think You Can Dance and Dancing With the Stars. When I was younger, they didn't have shows like that. If you wanted to see dance, you had to go to the ballet, or find out when the modern dance companies were coming into town, or be a dancer yourself. I didn't have websites like Youtube to search for dancers for hours. I was considered different because I danced. I am so thankful that those shows brought dance to the mainstream's eye. Even for people who don't dance themselves, it brings it into their homes. Even my grandmother watches So You Think You Can Dance!

I am thankful for my students. Not only are they all beautiful dancers, but they are beautiful people as well, and will grow up as beautiful people. Their love for dance is almost unsurpassed compared to other places that I have seen.

I am thankful for the extensive knowledge I have of dance. It allows me to take care of myself and to take care of my students. I can answer most questions about random body aches and pains. I am no doctor, but I have helped to fix multiple questions of "why is my knee hurting when I do this?" or "I have a pain in my foot, what's wrong?" It helps me to prevent common injuries in dancers that don't work correctly, and it helps me to help my students.

I am thankful for all the teachers I have had in my life. From my first teacher Miss Debbie to the master class teachers that I take from today, and every single teacher in between, I have learned something from all of them, and have taken the good and put it into my own teachings.

I am thankful for still being able to have dance in my life at the age of 27. Not only does it keep my passion burning for it, but I attribute much of my youthfulness to it. I don't look 27 (thanks mom and dad!), and parts of me aren't as serious as some of my peers at 27. Dance helps me to bring in to focus what is important to me, and it is often not similar to what my peers consider important.

I am thankful for the opportunities dance gives everyone, both young and old. Whether it's an 8 year old going to the ballet for the first time, or a 55 year old taking a beginner modern dance class, it gives people a joy and a love that is unlike any other. When I was in high school, I got to perform for an AIDS benefit (one of my future goals is to create a show as an AIDS benefit) and even though at the time I just saw it as another performance, I realize now how important it was, and is, and will be, to be able to share my gifts for a good cause.

I could go on all day, but that is all I have time for today. I hope many of you out there will contemplate what you are thankful for this week! I know most of our minds will be on turkey and stuffing and family gatherings, but take a moment, however brief, and just remember how amazing it is to have the life that you have!

And if you are dancer, remember how lucky and happy you are to have dance in your life!

Happy Thanksgiving everyone!

For the Love of Dance

I missed a whole dance season here!

I apologize for not keeping up with this. Summer season is here, though, and I will have plenty of time to contemplate and update and introduce, etc.

The studio which I work for just had their recitals this past weekend. It’s always a unique experience for me, because not only do I get to work with all the students within the studio, but I get to see my own students put all their hard work onto the stage!

After the first of four (yes four!) recitals of the weekend, one of my competitive students came up to me backstage. She and a couple other girls asked if the number looked good. I told them it was one of the best times I’d ever seen their dance. The girl looked at me and said that it was the first time in a long time that she had had fun dancing. “I think it’s because I wasn’t worried about competition.” The other girls with her agreed. This got me thinking.

It made me a little sad to know that these kids, while loving dance, and enjoying being a competitive dancer, weren’t fully experiencing it. While yes, these students ARE competitive, and they ARE supposed to be working on their technique and perfecting their lines and turns and jumps, these students are also supposed to be learning to balance the fun with the hard work. This made me realize that even though my studio is tough on these kids, maybe I personally don’t remind them enough about the passion (and now I realize, maybe I don’t remind MYSELF enough about the passion).

Martha Graham (a pioneer and huge influence of the modern dance world, and an idol of mine) once said “Great dancers are not great because of their technique, they are great because of their passion.” As both a teacher and dancer, I know all too well that we often forget about the passion. It is the passion of dance that drives us to attending hours of classes each week that we emerge from with bloodied toes, aching joints, and sore muscles. It is the passion of dance that drives us to take the yelling of our teachers that we didn’t hit that triple turn for the umpteenth time. It is the passion of dance that brings us back to the classroom after we clumsily fell onstage during a competition number that most likely knocked the platinum-level dance down to a high gold. It is the inner passion that drives us. But we often overlook it, based on sheer discipline.

Dancers are essentially masochists. We allow others to beat us up, and we beat ourselves up. I have a student who proudly shows me bruises when she’s fallen hard on a great move to the floor. Non-dancers would not boast of something like that. Why would we do this? It is not the pride of the injury, but rather the pride of the perseverance that got us to overcome the bruises to master the step that caused it. As dancers, our teachers push us to that point of blood, sweat, and tears. As teachers, we push our students so they can know the sweet taste of the fruit of their labors.

However, what kind of teachers are we that we don’t remind these students of their LOVE for it? At our studio, the competition kids get a pizza party for one of their last classes. It’s a break from all the dancing before they go into recitals and finish the year off on a good note. For one of my older kids’ last jazz/lyric class, I gave them a jazzy/contemporary-esque style combination to get them to relax and have fun. One girl even said “I wish we had a combo class that we could go to every week, just to have fun.” Sometimes to remind the kids of their passion and love, we have to let them have fun and relax. Why not just let them dance?

The girl that approached me backstage reminded me that these kids are still kids. When they go onstage, they are still students. As they perform their entrance, they typically are thinking of what they need to do. “Smile bigger here,” “Straighten your knees in this leap,” “Use my spot for the triple pirouette.” They become so engrossed in what they NEED to do that they aren’t just simply DANCING. They are too concerned with the people in front of them that are marking down their scores. This is why I love recitals. They get to be reminded that they have friends and family that are there to just watch them dance. Their audience is there to watch them enjoy themselves.
Students don’t always realize, as well, that judges like to see students who love dancing. I acted as a judge for a competition this past season, and the ones who seemed to really enjoy themselves stood out in my mind. One can tell a huge difference between the girl with technique who is mentally in a place of what she is doing, or what she is about to do, and the girl with technique who is just out there to DANCE. Most people don’t realize that it shows an immense amount of difference.

Now, I am certainly not knocking competitive dancing. It is the main focus of the studio I work at, and it is SUCH a good tool to bring out the best dancer in some kids. I was a competitive dancer myself, and it helped me come out of my shell in more ways than I can explain. All I am merely trying to point out is that sometimes we need to bring kids out of their element to remember how much they love what they do. No one student walks into a competitive program with the expectation of it being easy. They need to love it, and need to have that unbridled desire to dance. It is that PASSION that brings them to the hard part, and the PASSION that pushes them to see it all the way through to the end.

I can only hope that many of these students keep that passion within them for the rest of their lives. Dance is never an easy road, and they have to remember why they do it, or else when they falter, or obstacles present themselves, they may not be able to overcome.

On another note, I need to remind myself that this is a passion of mine. As I get older, life can get in the way, and sometimes obstacles become harder to get over. Even recently, as my sister is auditioning for companies, and trying to get me to come along, I shy away from the idea merely because I see my shortcomings as obstacles. However, I am trying to pull myself together and get over those fears of not being able to hold my own. I have recently been working on my own ways to remind myself that this is what I’ve loved doing since I was five, and what I’ve known I’ve wanted to do for my career since I was seven. From reading dance books, to taking class, to keeping up on my dance blog (hint hint to self!), these are all things that excite me and remind me why I can’t live without dance.

So to summarize- sometimes we become too caught up in the technique to remember the beauty of what we do. We are our passion, and we need to be reminded, and remind ourselves, of our love affair with dance. Of course, as a teacher, it is my own personal responsibility to share that with my students.


Note: I am in no way criticizing the teachings or style of teachings of ANYONE. These are solely my thoughts on the topic, and merely contemplative in nature. It is not meant to offend or critique or downplay any one way of teaching or learning. Please keep this in mind.