Boston Contemporary Dance Festival 2014

Yesterday, I had the wonderful opportunity to attend the noon show of the Boston Contemporary Dance Festival.  This is my second year going, and this is the second year that my sister has had pieces in it.

What a show!  There was a diverse range of contemporary styles, from the simple and aesthetically pleasing, to the athletic and complicated.

The show started with the piece "Again, Together."  It was a collaborative work of different dancers and companies.  I understand that with collaborations, you have to make it so that the piece fits everyone.  What I wasn't thrilled with was that this piece started the show.  It made me nervous, because most of the movements I watched are movements that I've seen since college (and I attended from 2002-2006).  It was a pretty piece full of meaning, which I've now learned to not even TRY to interpret these dances, but get the feeling for what they are. The movements fit everyone because of the fact that they were so simple.  I did like the way in which they created patterns in the space.

The next piece was "Closing At the End," choreographed by Angie Conte (Angie Moone Dance).  There were 3 dancers involved in this piece (2 of which were wearing denim- good for you, but it couldn't have been comfortable!).  This piece actually sparked a small conversation between me and my mom, and me and my boyfriend.  Both my mother and my boyfriend thought it went on for too long.  In the beginning of the piece, I was thinking about how I wasn't getting it and I wasn't feeling it, but as it progressed, I found myself really liking it.  I feel as though if it hadn't progressed in the manner that it did, in the length that it did, I wouldn't have felt like the story had truly unfolded.  Again, I won't even try to interpret the story, but the way in which this dance developed, it needed to in order for it feel complete.  I liked the way in which the three dancers at the end were connected and entwined in each other's dancing.  It was different, and some of the gesture work had me captivated.

The next piece was "Goes On and On" choreographed by Jennifer Gamache-Dubilo (Eclipse Dance Company).  It was a group of girls dressed in plain colored dresses and one gentleman dressed in all black.  It was a piece that incorporated a lot of ballet technique, which to me leans more towards the commercial contemporary versus the more post-modern contemporary (which I liked!). I enjoyed the simplicity of it, but what had me going a little crazy was the intent of the piece.  I saw some girls smiling, while some didn't have any expression, while at the same time some had a look of angst on their face.  Was this piece meant to be happy?  Was it meant to be sad?  To me, the different expressions distracted from the dancing itself.

The next piece was "Hyperactivity" which was choreographed by my sister Chantal Doucett for the Urbanity Dance Summer Intensive.  I know my sister's choreography and I could immediately tell that this was her style.  It had lots of quirky gestures mixed in with some exciting music and movement on stage.  It was the first piece of the afternoon which incited excitement.  By that time, it was welcome (so many angsty pieces in contemporary dance.  Can we not find a place to be happy in the contemporary world?  Angst does not equal maturity!).  The movement was fun, and I often caught myself saying things under my breath ("werk!"  "Get it!"  "Yaaaas!").  It was great to see this constantly moving, constantly changing, always evolving piece with great music. The dancers got into the movement, and I loved the turn sequence in which one of the boys performed by himself.  The exits and entrances even had great movement to it. Perhaps I'm biased, but really Chantal did an amazing job.

Next was "Momento" choreographed by Ali Smith.  Wow.  This dancer was a talent.  I'm assuming she was young- she looked it.  

 The maturity in her dancing, though, was outstanding.  What got me about this piece was that it was a beautiful mix of something that you might see at a competition mixed with a post-college commercial company, and yet the dancer held this embodiment of innocence.  She danced very honestly, and to have that at what I'm assuming is a young age, is a gift.  The choreography moved and kept me watching and focused on the dancer, which isn't always the case in solos.  It was a great number.

"Everything Happens In Threes" came next, choreographed by Erica Ligeski-Schroder (Company Four).  Sadly, I was bored.  It didn't capture my attention.  There were no "moments" in the piece.  Personally, I need a piece to capture my eye at least once.  I need to be able to see a place where the music crescendos and the dancers go for it, or I need a moment of silence with a look to the audience that leaves you cold.  SOMETHING.  Looking back on my notes, I could barely remember the piece.  Not that it was a bad piece by any means.  I'm sure the dancers worked hard and that the choreographer had intention behind it.  But I didn't see intention. I just saw three dancers on a stage doing movements. I didn't even see purpose in the faces.  Perhaps that was the intention, but as an audience member, it just didn't hold me.  I'd be interested to see if there were other works for the company that would be more exciting. 

The next piece, however, grabbed me and held me the whoooooooole time!  "Wrong Way" choreographed by Brian Washburn was another piece that was exciting.  It was full of athleticism and control.  It was almost a mix of dance and martial arts.  I will admit, for the first part of the piece, I was fascinated with the hairstyle of one of the gentlemen.  He had this really cool mohawk-esque style that I just kept taking glances at!  The dancing was phenomenal though.  There was evident struggle in the intention of the movement.  The only thing that drove me a little up the wall was the back flip.  To me, where does one cross the line from dance to acro?  I understand that if it works for the piece and the dancers can do it, then maybe it seems right to the choreographer.  I just felt as though the back flip was so jarring in this piece that it almost ruined it for me.  Almost.  I really loved the strength that was shown by both men, as well as the fact that each of them truly brought their own style to the piece.  It was definitely one of the most memorable of the afternoon.

After the intermission, the show started back up with "Suffocated Pulses" choreographed by SkooJ CorE-O (Boston Community Dance Project). This piece had its moments.  Some of the dancers to me at times were too angsty and too over the top.  There is a way to do angst and a way to subtely progress it so that the dancers show it.  I thought some seemed frantic at times and it seemd jarring.  I'm all for making dancers look almost "ugly" in their dancing when there is a reason behind it, but either I don't know the reason, or the reason behind the dancing was over interpreted.  Seeing the line up of music they chose, I was wary, but it honestly worked for the piece.  I did notice that a lot of the time my eyes drifted from the different soloists to the corps dancers in the back.  Sometimes the movement in the back was more captivating than the frantic dancing in the front.

The next piece was "Torrent" choreographed by Meghan Anderson for Urbanity Dance Summer Intensive. A very cool and exciting piece.  You can tell that. Meghan was a competition dancer, just as you can tell my sister was, too.  The piece is exciting filled with entrances and exits and fun movements that incite excitement.  It helps, too, when there is that bright pop of color onstage (again, more color in the contemporary world please!  Gray, black, and white does not equal maturity!).  The music was definitely a driving force behind the dancing and the dancers really threw themselves into the movement.  It was definitely a fun piece.

The piece that followed was probably the most intriguing of the whole show.  "But first, let me take a..."  choreographed by Jessica Muise (Intimations Dance) was captivating.  It started with a man controlling the music onstage with the dancers.  The dancing started and all of a sudden, you hear a dancer call "STOP!" After I caught on to what was happening, I realized that dancers were controlling the dance.  Commands like "stop" "continue" "faster" "jump higher" "lower" etc were prevalent throughout.  There was a clear message to the piece, and the dancing was great.  I usually tend to be very uncomfortable watching experimental styles like this onstage, but this really worked for me, and I really really enjoyed the way in which they controlled who was dancing what and how, and how partners switched and stopped and continued.  It was flawlessly executed.

Next was "Dust" choreographed by Danielle Pastuszak and Ryan Valente.  What a beautiful female dancer.  Strong, pretty feet, and held my attention.  The lighting in the beginning was different from what a lot of the other dances had incorporated, and the way that it came down from the back corner was almost haunting.  The choreography wasn't overly complicated, but I enjoyed the partner work and the beauty of its simplicity resonated with me.  Some of the lifts were strongly done and the gentleman was great base for her. 

The piece to follow was called "Noire" choreographed by Cayley Christoforou (Extensions Dance Company).  As I watched the piece I kept thinking "oh this is so angsty.  Oh we've all seen the wipe-the-makeup-off-our-face-and-show-how-much-turmoil-this-causes-us.  Oh this choreography is so predictable."  Honestly, though, the dancers were FIERCE.  I loved the costuming choice of black lace top, purple skirt on the bottom, and the buns.  I wanted to judge this piece, but the dancing was great, and the ferocity of the dancers was captivating.  How could I not respect that?

The second to last piece was "Reckless Secrets" choreographed by Heather Budinscak (FreeFall Contemporary Dance Company).  There was a clear hint of "see no evil, hear no evil, speak no evil."  I liked the beginning and the end with the gestures that incorporated that hint.  It was different and intertwined the dancers in an interesting way.  The red costumes popped, and the dancers strong.  

The final piece of the show was another of my sister's- "Visceral Affairs."   It was a dance to Ave Maria and it was my favorite costume of the night for sure.  Beautiful maroon crop tops with lace on the shoulders and white lace high-low skirts.  Gorgeous.  The choreography for the 3 dancers was exquisite.  It was soft to go with the music, yet at the same time held a strength and almost underlying force to the dance.  Chantal has a talent for making dancers do something but in a way that you wouldn't necessarily have thought to make them do.  It was a very pretty piece to end the show.

Overall, I loved the show.  I'm hoping in the next few years to make a day of it and go to all three shows.  I would have loved to see what other companies outside of Boston have to offer.  I will say, though, Boston holds its own in the dance community.  A few years ago, you never would have been able to see the kind of talent that I saw yesterday.  You wouldn't have even known it existed.  Boston is finally starting to find its dance voice, and I'm glad that Betsi Graves, who is the director of this event, is driving it.  

Well done Boston!

Dancing Honestly

The past couple of weeks have been super busy.  I have immersed myself in the dance life.  From solo rehearsals to ballet boot camp to summer intensive to actually taking classes myself, I have been one busy bee.  This means a lot of inspiration to write about!

I got to take from one of my favorite teachers of all time the past couple of weeks.  The guy has a dream career from being on Broadway to being in movies to being in a hugely popular Christmas commercial that when I saw it a couple years ago, I almost died knowing who it was.  He is an inspiration, a motivation, and just taking his class is an honor for me.  I also got the chance to observe a class.  I had planned on staying for the class that day anyway, but had unfortunately popped my hip in a way that was causing me some concern, so I asked him if he would mind me observing the students.  He was very kind and let me.

The class went over a lyrical combination that they had worked on the day before.  It was a beautiful combo, with beautiful free-flowing movement combined with technique.  When the students started doing it in groups, it prompted the teacher to talk about dancing honestly and it got me really thinking about what dancing honestly really means.

In the competition world, it's difficult for kids to dance honestly.  Often times they are given songs about partying or being in love, and at the age of twelve, how many of them really know what that feels like?  It's very difficult at times to have to pull the emotion and movement style out of kids in that manner.  The teacher put it in a way that resonated with me- "if you're twelve, dance like you're twelve.  If you're 17, dance like you're 17."  

When you are twelve, you are dealing with just starting to explore the world of coming into your own.  You're in middle school dealing with the idea what the opposite sex really means to you, or doing a lot of school work because you know high school is starting soon where all that scariness will begin, or you're trying to figure out if dance really is what you want to do because if it isn't, what other options do you have?

When you are 17, you have had a boyfriend or two at this point.  You're thinking about college, which means you're half excited to get out of high school, but also half sad to leave it.  You're finding out what it truly means to have friends, and school work is stressful thinking about how all your grades will be looked at by colleges.  

The two ages have two very different experiences.  At the age of twelve, you might dance a little happier.  You won't understand  a lot of complications that come with maturity, so you will dance in a slightly more innocent manner.  At the age of 17, you might dance happy as well, but with just a touch of angst.  Maybe you see a couple moments of underlying turmoil.  

It was fascinating being able to watch these kids embody these feelings.  The younger kids definitely had a feeling of innocence to them.  They're at an age when "love" is still an idea of all rainbows and sunshine.  The older dancers had a more evident embodiment that showed that sometimes, with love comes heartache.  

The facial expressions of these dancers matched their styles.  Sometimes you get kids onstage and their expressions are off the wall.  Recently, on the show So You Think You Can Dance, one of Jessica's comments has consistently been "don't pull your face.  Your dancing speaks for itself."  I know personally I find it tough to be in a jazz number and NOT pull my face to make it more exciting because that's what I'm feeling.  In certain areas of dance, they want you to feel it but not make it so incredibly evident on your face.  

It's easy to see onstage when dancers don't feel what they are doing.  Sometimes you just don't see the spark of feeling.  Instead, you're thinking about the movement and I can see your eyes rolling a little back to get into that brain of yours.  This is when the dancer stops being a dancer.  Sometimes teachers try to help by choreographing facial expressions.  What good does that do?  To me, that's not learning what dance means.  Yes, dance has the technique of the pointed toes and the turned out legs or the clear taps and placed arms, but essentially when we dance we tell a story.  Even if the dancer is merely becoming the music and telling the audience "I am the notes on the scale" you are telling that in your dancing.  So why would someone give you their interpretation when you can make it your own? Feel the beats and listen to the story and what it tells you, and let your facial expressions go from there.

Dancing honestly is just so important.  When you don't, it's almost a betrayal of who you are as a dancer, and a betrayal of the dance itself.  Perhaps my words seem harsh, but would you enjoy seeing a dancer at the age of 17 trying to dance a piece about love in a juvenile, innocent manner?  I would rather see maturity on an older dancer.  

Next time you or your dancer enter into the studio to work on a dance, think of who you are.  Think of your age and your experiences in relation to what the song is saying.  Show it in your movements and your style and your facial expressions.  Be true to yourself and your dancing.

Dance honestly.

I'm Gonna Take on the World

This past week i got the lovely opportunity to work a ballet boot camp for the youngest 2 levels at the studio I teach for.  We spend 2 hours on ballet technique, and then for an hour we stretch and work on upbeat jazz so that the students can learn to apply their ballet technique to other forms of dance.  Having these kids be able to correlate ballet with other forms of dance at such an early age is a huge asset for them.  I truly enjoy working it every year, but this year I had a unrelated "moment."

I have the same playlist every day for the jazzy section.  All I do to find music is go into the children's section of iTunes, pick anything from movies, Disney, or Nickelodeon (do they even call it Nickelodeon anymore, or is it just Nick?) and make sure it's uptempo.  I didn't expect the kids to know all the lyrics to all the songs... 

One of the songs I chose was actually a song that I was familiar with.  Recently, the show Girl Meets World made its debut on Disney channel.  It's a show that is supposed to be a continuation of the show Boy Meets World where the 2 main characters have kids, and it highlights the adventures of these kids.  Now, I have been watching the show out of pure nostalgia.  Of course I got hooked because, well, it's me.  I'm the girl that got hooked on Hannah Montana for a while when it came out.  I also like the wholesomeness of it.  It's an opportunity to watch a show that has morals to it, focuses on family values, and has a healthy view on friendships and young relationships.  

Well, the fourth day of camp, the song came on during class.  As I'm leading the students in a stretch I start to hear a chorus of young voices.  The lyrics go like this:

"I've been waitin' 

For a day like this to come

Struck like lightnin'

My heart's beating like a drum

On the edge of something wonderful

Face to face with changes 

What's it all about?

Life is crazy

But I know I can work it out

Cause I got you to live it with me

I feel alright, I'm gonna take on the world

Light up the stars, I've got some pages to turn

I'm singing oh oh oh

Oh oh oh oh

I've got a ticket to the top of the sky

I'm comin' up, I'm on the ride of my life

I'm singing oh oh oh

Oh oh oh oh"

There are more lyrics but these are the important ones that hit me.  It was a moment of hopefulness as I listened to these young girls sing this song.  These kids were singing about taking on the world at a young age, and it hit me that these girls really are the future.  In my class, I could have a future president, a future peacemaker, a future Travis Wall or Mia Michaels, future CEOs, future news reporters, etc.  At that moment, it was a beautiful moment of being able to realize that I am witness to something amazing.  I am witness to the growth and development of some of the most wonderous children.  

I'm sure that many teachers feel this way about their students.  If you've been a teacher long enough in the same area, you get to see the same students grow year after year and see who they start out as and who they become.  My assistant for that class is the prime example.  I remember her being a young dancer new to the competition scene.  She was a young, quiet, and shy hard worker.  A couple years into it, she found her voice, and she has become one of the most popular dancers at the studio.  Because of her work as an assistant with the younger students, they all ADORE her.  The love, light, and support that she has given the students reflects her caring nature and responsible personality.  To be able to watch her take that journey from unknown dancer in the corner, to front woman in the studio is incredible.  It was almost odd to be able to hear all my little ballerinas singing a song about growing and seeing that this was where my assistant had started, and having her there to see them be where she was.

I love being part of these students lives.  I want my students to fully take on the world.  I want them to know that with hard work, and a love for dance, they can do anything they want.  They are little humans that are learning and growing, and I am helping in giving them the tools to do so.  It's incredible what an influence you can have.  The second to last day, I was reminding them that Friday would be their last day, and they actually all in chorus went "awwwwwwwwwwww!"  I was shocked.  There are few places you will ever hear students be upset that ballet class or camp is over.  If all I have done is instilled a love for ballet in these kids, then I have truly done my job.

I cannot wait for the pages to turn in these kids lives and watch how their individual stories develop! 

Reasons

I'm baaaaaaaaaack!

Recently there has been so much going on in my life.  I just turned 30 a month ago (scary!  I don't feel it!).  I gave my 2 weeks notice at the restaurant I've been working at.  My schedule has been all over the place, my personal life has been in upheaval, and then something really sad happened- I lost my grandfather last week.

I tend to not get super personal on this page when I write.  It's typically just not needed on a dance blog.  I share anecdotes about my teaching experience or give my opinion on the way I think things should be.  Other than that, I tend to keep my soul out of this.  Today though, I'm going to share a little more than usual.

I'm coming back to writing for a reason.  I have never had a ton of confidence in my writing.  I love to write.  Man, I LOVE to write.  There is nothing better than just letting your heart pour onto a piece of paper, or letting it flow from your fingertips to a keyboard.  It's satisfying.  And it's a piece of you that is physically put out into the universe for people to witness.  I would have become a writer of sorts had I not chosen dance as a career path.  I have just never fully thought that I would be able to have enough to say to the world, or enough of anything of significance to put myself out there.  It's scary to put your thoughts and ideas out there for the public.  Everyone has an opinion, and when I'm not entirely sure of my own self worth as a writer, negative opinion can be damaging, discouraging, and all around unenjoyable. 

Part of the reason that I've only sporadically been blogging is because I feel as though people don't read this.  That's okay, but what is a blog if no one is there to read it?  If a tree falls in the woods...  Well, you know the saying.  Upon losing my grandfather this week, I got the opportunity to go see some family members that I sadly have not seen in a while.  They all love that my sister and I dance.  They love to ask us about how our teaching is going and what we are doing for choreography.  My grandmother in particular loves to ask me about Dancing With the Stars and So You Think You Can Dance.  My second cousin's daughters even dance at a prestigious school down on the south shore so I had the chance to talk to his wife about them and see pictures.

What I didn't realize was that they love my blog.

My grandfather was that connection to the digital world for some of my family.  I have family members that hate computers and the internet.  I totally get that.  I fully intend someday to wipe myself from all social media, but not until I'm much older (she says as she puts her blog on the internet...).  My grandfather however, had an email, and a Facebook.  Through Facebook, I believe that's how he found my blog.  He would print out my blog articles and give them to family members who in turn would have other people read them.

To me, this is all the motivation I need.

If this blog only makes it to my family, then it's serving a purpose.  Obviously I would love for this blog to be famous world wide, and get accolades and I would get paid to write, but hey I'd love to win the lottery, too, but that won't happen anytime soon!  If this page only gets to my family, and then in turn they only hand it out to a few people, then it's got a reason.

I've always been a family girl.  People and relationships are the most important things in my life.  I'm not always the best at picking up the phone or setting up Skype dates with friends, but I think about the important people in my life constantly.  Particularly my mom and dad. Not only have those two put up with more crap from me (the middle school years were a particularly trying time that I'm surprised I made it out alive) but they have supported me throughout my life in all that I've wanted to do.  Both of them are huge advocates of my writing, and i should listen to them when they say I need to write more.  My boyfriend as well is a major support for my writing.  He sees how much I love it and how happy I am when I get blog entry out.  That little extra push from my family members on my dad's side is going to be such a big help.

So this blog is about dance, and it will continue to be about dance, but it's for my family, my boyfriend, my friends, myself, and YOU!

So thanks for reading this blog.  With more time coming up, and actually having blogger on my iPad now, I'll be more inclined to write.  Stick with me friends, and I'll stick with you!

RIP Peter

 I am so sad to hear of the passing of one of my teachers from college- Peter O’Brien.

While I know many people in my college alone that had much closer relationships with him, Peter has always been one of my most revered teachers in my mind.  Peter and I didn’t always get along.  In fact, within the first few weeks of taking class from him, he screamed at me so badly that he threatened to kick me out of class- because my hair fell out.  I joked that the next week I was going to put a million brightly colored bobby pins and barrettes in my hair, then top it off with an inch of gel and hairspray. Although we started out rocky, one of my proudest moments of that year was getting that man to respect me. 

That year, I had him off and on for ballet, I had him for one semester as a pas de deux teacher, and he worked with me for certain parts of the production of Romeo & Juliet that our department was putting on.  I’m pretty sure that was the semester that I had worked my hardest.  I remember one specific moment where I completed this fantastic grande ronde de jamb during center work.  It wasn’t up to my ears or anything, but my leg was lengthened and extended and my turn out was at its capacity.  My beautiful foot was pointed, and I was strong.  It was the first time Peter had ever pointed me out and excitedly told me “good!”  Though very simple, one of my biggest compliments of my life.

I didn’t have a close relationship with the man, and I haven’t spoken to him since college.  He will never know what a huge impact he had on me.  I had other teachers that made me work, and I had other teachers that yelled at me, and I had other teachers who I even liked a lot better.  Earning that man’s respect, however, was one of my proudest achievements in college.  Not only was he a strict teacher, but he is a highly respected performer and educator.  I really wish I had had the opportunity to tell him.  I’m almost positive he never knew what it meant. 

It really just goes to show that we all must tell those we appreciate just how MUCH we appreciate them in life.  We may never get the opportunity. 

Boston Ballet's The Nutcracker

Christmas is my favorite time of the year.  From the initial meaning of peace on earth and goodwill towards men, to the superficial sparkle of the lights and decorations, it gives me a warm feeling that lasts me through the cold.  It’s no wonder that one of my favorite ballets is the Nutcracker.  After seeing Boston Ballet’s this past weekend, I love it even more.

My boyfriend and I braved the slushy and icy roads to get to the Boston Opera House on Sunday morning.  The gray weather had no effect on my sparkling excitement.  When the overture began my heart raced, and I was quickly sucked into the world of the Nutcracker.

I have to take a moment to say a brief word about Clara’s (Emily Hoff’s) feet.  I was in the mezzanine section, so I wasn’t super close to the stage, and I was looking down from above, yet I could see this girl’s feet extended and pointed from there.  The girl just walked, and they were perfectly placed.  Not only that, but her port de bras throughout was truly wonderful.  Such maturity for a dancer playing Clara.  Thank you for becoming the best Clara I’ve ever seen.

In the first scene, I quickly fell in love with Sabi Varga’s interpretation of Drosselmeier.  I’ve seen in so many versions this character portrayed as an older gentleman who has been at times creepy.  Drosselmeier has become this kooky old guy who’s intention is to scare Clara with the Nutcracker in many versions.  This interpretation was playful and meaningful.  He enchanted the street people in the beginning scene with his toys, and enchanted myself throughout the whole ballet.

My second favorite scene (the first will be revealed shortly) has always been the party.  From the gowns of the women, to the ballet-ified ballroom dance style of the adults, I’ve always imagined myself as being at one of these parties in a past life.  The choreography for this scene was amazing, and one of the things I remember telling my boyfriend is that I am always so amazed at the dancers in the background.  There are times where there is choreography that is displayed as the main focus, but there are still people off to the sides.  Most people don’t notice, but these dancers are staying in character, and really acting with their bodies for the entirety of the time that they are on stage.  I was highly impressed with the amount that Boston Ballet had going on in the background.

One of my least favorite things came from this section, however.  The doll that comes to life was really not very well done.  I hate to say it, but Diana Albrecht’s interpretation was not pleasant.  In my opinion, her dancing was choppy- not robotic.  Instead of dancing like a doll, she danced as though she was being shocked by an electric buzzer offstage somewhere.  It’s the only time I had a sour expression on my face throughout the ballet.  A bit more subtle movements would do the section well.

The comedic sections of ballet are always amusing.  The rats provide this on a constant basis during the battle scene.  They emerge to twelve strokes of the clock at midnight after Clara has fallen asleep.  The silly poses in which these rat appear were definitely laugh-worthy.  In this scene, I was also impressed with the soldier boys.  At one point they all did this parallel battements with flexed feet that came just above 90 degrees.  Every single boy had straight knees, were definitively parallel, were in unison, and managed to stay in time while on releve.  To get a group of dancers to be able to do that is a great feat.  It makes me very excited for the future of ballet!

I am now up to my ultimate favorite scene in the Nutcracker.  Even as I think about it now, I am getting “the feels” as the kids call it these days.  The snow scene with the Snow King and Snow Queen (played by Alejandro Virelles and Seo Hye Han) and the snowflakes were beautiful.  There is something so magical and powerful about the music, and Seo danced it undeniably beautifully.  She is the type of ballerina that I love- strong, powerful, but with a subtlety of softness and pristine poise.  Of course, she was only made to look so amazing by the strength and support of Alejandro.  Those lifts-  WOW!  It made me miss my days of taking pas de deux class… 

The snowflakes were gorgeous.  I got the opportunity to watch one of the poor girls fall flat on her bum, due to what I’m assuming was some slippery “snow” that had fallen to the stage.  While my boyfriend told me he lost track of her after that, I watched her dutifully as a teacher hoping that it didn’t affect her.  Boy did it not!  This ballerina came back stronger and prettier than she had started!  This is the sign of true professionalism.  After they left the stage and kept coming on at different points, I was unable to figure out which one she was, but the fact that it didn’t get her off counts, or even affected her and the dancing in the slightest was just a fantastic moment for me to be able to witness.

The Snow Scene is my favorite because it reminds me of snow days when you get to sit by your window and watch the snow fall.  Dance truly brings to life snow to me, since I always watch the snowflakes and think that they are dancing anyway.  To put them into human form is just a more organized version of what they actually are. 

Act II is now upon us.  While it is the most diverse section, I always find it hard to get through.  I space out somewhere between Pastorale and the ending.  This time was no different.  Obviously not the fault of the Boston Ballet.  While it kept me intrigued and more consciously present than any other, it was still a little hard. 

Spanish was right on point- the arm flares and passion of the dancers shone through.  Arabian was slinky and superb with the slow sultry music. Chinese…well, Chinese seemed as though they needed some more rehearsal time to get the timing together.  I was unable to really get a good sense of what they were doing because they were so off from each other.  Pastorale was pretty, but I was more pulled in by the cutest little black sheep in the background.  Mother Ginger was, as per usual, funny and humorous.  Mother Ginger herself (played by Isaac Akiba) was in fine form, and the children were well rehearsed and did a great job!  That back flip at the end by the little girl got its own applause!  Then Russian…Oh, Russian, the manliest/sexiest part of the whole ballet.  Three men showing off how athletic they are with jumps and turns is truly a feat!

The Waltz of the Flowers left me wanting for some reason.  The dancing and choreography was absolutely stunning, and I loved the idea of the costumes with the tiered skirts that were longer European length tutus.  There was just something about it that left me wanting something more.  Whether it was more lighting, a change of atmosphere, or maybe even just adding a little more to the costume, the “It” factor didn’t appear to me.  I do want to express how much I loved the dancing, though.  The music and choreography together made me want to strap on my old pointe shoes and get up there with them! 

Of course the Grand Pas de Deux was beautiful with the Nutcracker Prince (played by John Lam) and the Sugarplum Fairy (Rie Ichikawa), but the ending excites me immensely.  You get all the people dancing at the end in unison.  No crazy choreography, but everyone dancing together to the escalating music just makes you feel good. 

The ending was perfect with Clara waking up and wondering if it was all just a dream.  As she walks towards the end of the stage, she touches her head and realizes that the tiara she received in the Kingdom of Sweets was still on! 

I went to see the Nutcracker a few years ago with my mother.  This was before they had redone the ballet just last year.  I have to say- I love the changes.  The costumes are unbelievable.  I loved the prima ballerina tutus sparkling and glimmering underneath the lights.  The snowflake costumes aren’t overdone, but simple and classy.  As I mentioned earlier, the idea of the flower costumes was very different, but very wonderful.  I loved the new scenery in the beginning with Drosselmeier’s workshop.  I also really liked how they changed the tree.  The bright green really pops on the stage.  I was also impressed by the level of dancing that Clara, and the other younger dancers in the ballet, were able to perform.  The children’s quality of dancing has improved since I last saw it.  All the changes that I noticed were absolutely for the better. 

So thank you Boston Ballet for redeeming yourselves in the Nutcracker area, and easily becoming my favorite version!

For Danvers

For the past couple of days, I have wanted to write about the horrific events that happened in my hometown this week.  A 14 year old student allegedly killed a 24 year old teacher.  While the passion and the fire have been there to write, I have not known how to approach the topic.  Even sitting here now with tears in my eyes and a heavy heart, I’m not quite sure where this will go.

Everyone knows the details by now- the young teacher had asked the student to stay after class, and sometime between then and the next morning when the boy was found, Colleen Ritzer had lost her life at his hands.  Motive is still unknown, or not being released.  I’m not sure which one it is.

I am not a parent.  I cannot even comprehend what it must be like to have a child who has to walk into a school where a teacher was murdered.  I can’t imagine how scared the parents must feel or how sad.  My mother shared with me that on the day of 9/11, when I was a senior in high school and my sister was in middle school, she drove to the school and just sat out front, making sure that nothing happened at the school while she cried.  My mother has a very protective and sensitive soul, and I know that there must have been parents that did similarly today.

I am not a student.  I have no idea what it will be like to walk into that school and know that my peer murdered a teacher of mine.  I can’t fathom how it must feel to walk by that second floor bathroom and know that it’s a crime scene forever.  To have to walk into that teacher’s classroom and know that she will never return must be utterly scarring.  To be a student at Danvers High School right now must be a nightmare.

I am not a teacher at Danvers High School.  I do not know what it is like to walk into school knowing that my students that I have only had for 2 months are struggling with grief.  I do not know what it is like to walk the halls not knowing whether or not it will be safe.  As a teacher, to be dealing with students that may lash out, or even fellow teachers that may not know how to handle it, must be a terrible feeling.

What I am is a dance teacher that has students whom I care about deeply who are going through a really rough time.  I am an alumni of Danvers High School who knows what it is like to walk those hallways, and knows what it means to be a Falcon.  I am a sensitive person who knows that my family, and my friends’ families, and my sister’s friends’ families all live within a mile of the high school where this tragic event happened.  My heart is breaking knowing how many lives have been changed forever. 

In a different light, I am a dance teacher who is here for her students.  While, I can’t do much more than provide an ear to open up to, or offer two arms to give a hug, I am here as an adult to help where I can.  I am an alumni of Danvers High School who knows that being a Falcon means community.  I have so much faith in my community that they will rise above this and become a beacon for pulling through and coming together in terrible times.  I am a sensitive person who will cry from time to time knowing the impact of this situation, but will offer support and love to the universe.  I am a Danvers girl, and I am strong.

When the Boston Marathon bombings occurred, I wrote a blog urging people to go out and do good in the world.  Today, I write in Colleen Ritzer’s memory to do the same.  There needs to be a call to arms- we must be ready and loaded to send love out into the universe.  Generally, there is good in the world, and that good can overpower the destruction that bad can do.  Our children, more than ever, need to be taught how to be kind, how to love, and how to create happiness.  When awful things happen, we need to be the pillars of support, and the teachers of all things good.  We need to lead by example to help those who are hurting, let them grieve, and be there for them when they need help.  As a whole, the adults of today need to be reminded that even though we see these bad things, there is still good out there, so that we may point it out to the youth of today.  Look at the pictures of the students, and the memorial, and even Ms. Ritzer’s twitter.  There is goodness in the world. 

“No matter what happens in life, be good to people.  Being good to people is a wonderful legacy to leave behind.” -Colleen Ritzer

Well said, and RIP Ms. Ritzer.

DING DONG DOMA IS DEAD!

Dancers come in all shapes, sizes, genders, and races.  Dancers also know what it’s like to walk into a room and be told to leave because you don’t “fit” what they’re looking for.  Mostly it’s because you don’t have the right look that the choreographer is looking for.  Perhaps you’re too short.  Maybe your legs aren’t long enough.  Either way, rejection hurts.

Nothing would ever compare, though, to being told that you don’t have the same rights when you get married to the person you love because of your sexual preference. 

I am so proud to be an American today.  DOMA (the Defense Of Marriage Act) has been shut down.  It’s a step forward for our nation, and hopefully a step forward for our world.  The amount of hatred I have seen in my lifetime against gay men and woman is despicable.  One of the most vivid memories I have is watching young children hold signs outside of my college that spewed hateful messages about God hating gays and creating AIDS to eradicate the culture.  Even as I type this, I am crying thinking about how much hate and ignorance someone must have in their hearts to pass on thoughts of inequality to children. 

Some of my favorite people on earth are gay.  In the dance world, as stereotypical as this is, you DO cross paths with a lot of gay men.  Even though many of them are stereotypically “softer” in certain respects, these men are some of the strongest willed, and emotionally strong, people that I have ever met.  I have seen many of them find someone who is just PERFECT for them, and yet sadly, they don’t want to marry, or they CAN’T marry (depending on where they live). 

I have never understood why it wasn’t recognized that two people of the same sex couldn’t be together.  I grew up in the dance world, not to mention that my mother grew up in both the skating and dance world, and my grandmother was an interior designer and ice skater.  I grew up not just automatically knowing the culture, and what that entailed, but I grew up with parents that instilled within me a general kindness, acceptance, and loving nature that I wouldn’t know what to do without.  I accept all people, and I only don’t accept those that act hatefully and put out a negative energy into the world that is harmful. 

I am so glad and proud today that our nation is standing up and acting out against that hate.  Perhaps with this will come more education and understanding that people are people.  It doesn’t matter what your race is or what your sexual preference is or what your gender is.  We are all human who are trying to make sure that we keep intact our basic right to live. 

Today, celebrate who you love.  In this world, you never know when that might be taken away from you, whether it’s the cause of a government, or if it’s fate, or nature.  You never do know, so on this day of celebration, make sure everyone you love knows it.  And if there’s that special someone out there, make sure they know you love them. 

Top 20 For Season 10 of So You Think You Can Dance!

It is officially my favorite time of the year.  No no, not summer.  So You Think You Can Dance has started!  I’ve decided to start keeping weekly tabs on here of my opinions on the progress of the show.  I mean, why not?  So You Think You Can Dance is everything that I love and hate about dance rolled into one reality tv show!

Last week, the top 20 were introduced!  Instead of going through each and every individual dancer and dance, I’m going to go over the things that particularly stood out in my mind.  I have plenty of opinions on this year’s bunch.  Also, please remember as I go through this- these are my OPINIONS!  I just don’t want any angry retribution that occurs here.

First off, I am highly disappointed in the female contemporary showing.  Yes, these girls are strong, and they have SO much potential, but the problem is that they are all cookie cutter.  I was hoping that since it was season 10 that the judges would be looking for dancers that were DIFFERENT!  I get it, they want people that are going to win the hearts of the judges, but the only person who I can even think of that stands out is Malece, and I’m wondering if that’s only because she has a different look to her with that bleach blonde hair, cupie doll face, and I-just-want-to-pinch-your-cheek personality.  And yet through all that standing out, the judges were almost hardest on her in the first round.  I mean, really?  The only contemporary girl that stands out, and you’re trying to knock down her image?  Ugh. 

While I’m on the contemporary dancers- WHY is Jasmine in the competition?  Her contemporary showing in Vegas was HORRENDOUS and that is HER STYLE?!?!?!  I get it, she has the great story of being Cyrus’s ex-girlfriend, but this is a show about dancing.  She DID do better last week on the show, but I’m just NOT a fan!  Too whiney for my taste.

The contemporary boys are definitely stronger.  I’m in love with Tucker.  He has so much going for him, and he has such a big heart (as you could tell from his crying the first time he hit the stage!).  I’m hoping for a top ten with that kid.  Carlos has a great personality, and his dancing is strong.  The teenage heartthrob this season, though, is going to be Nico.  With that adorable smile, and legs for days, he’s going to get ALL the girls’ attention!

Now onto Ballroom. WHEW!!!!  I’m finally excited to watch ballroom dancers this season.  They are STRONG and they are HOT!  I could not believe the fire that all four of the ballroom dancers had on the stage.  I couldn’t stop watching!  Usually I get bored with ballroom dancers, and I say that only because I am not as intimately versed in ballroom as I am with other styles.  I am so excited to see how these ballroom dancers match up against the contemporary dancers.

I am SO EXCITED that there is a strong tap showing this season.  Alexis is so cute with her smile, and the fact that she wants audiences to connect with tappers is something that I’ve been hoping for! Curtis is so adorable.  I want him to go far only because he makes me smile when he dances.  His smile is infectious, and his dancing is so full of energy and happiness!  Aaron is someone I want to see more of, mainly because I don’t like him yet due to the fact that I haven’t seen much of him.  Not to mention that his shoulders were up by his ears half the time and it was killing (dance teacher moment where you just want to go up behind him and push the shoulders down for him!).  I  was also excited that the tap choreography was done by Anthony Morigerato.  I saw him win so many categories in a National competition when I competed.  His group was up against mine back when we were both in high school.  It was really neat to be able to see him be so successful!

Hip Hop- Fik-shun has a lot of heart, but he fell so short this past week.  His counterpart Mariah was sexy, but the choreography was so boring to me that I didn’t feel like either of them stood out.  I’m excited to seen Mariah, though.  It will be very nice to see a strong female competitor for hip hop again in the competition. 

As for the animators- why oh WHY is Jade in the top 20?  He had to fight for his life TWICE in Vegas.  My eye was drawn to him more than once in the group dances because he was SO off in choreography!  It’s one thing to be a good animator, but it’s another thing when you can’t pick up choreography.  BluPrint is MILES ahead of him.  Not only does BluPrint shine in what he does, but he picks up choreography amazingly well (as was even pointed out by Nigel at one point) and keeps up with everyone.  I’m hoping Jade is the first out of the competition because I can’t stand watching people who expect to be professional, and can’t keep up with choreography.

Finally, the only jazz dancer of the season- Jasmine.  I LOVE HER!  She is FIERCE!  I don’t know why, but there is just something about her that I really like.  She has a personality that’s drawn me in, and I think she is going to grow and come up from behind.  The judges critiqued her on her technique, but I think her dance personality will win her a lot of votes.

My favorite piece last week was done by my favorite choreographer of all time- Christopher Scott.  I’m in love with him as a choreographer.  He created the top 10 guys’ Sand dance.  Not only did he choreograph a piece using SAND, but he took 10 guys who have very different ways of dancing, and made them not only look seamless, but choreographed points to showcase each of their individual talents.  I can never get enough of Christopher Scott’s musicality within a piece, nor can I get enough of his unique style.  If there’s ever a choreographer I could be like, it’s Christopher Scott.

I wasn’t too impressed with the top 10 girls.  It was a cute piece, but it didn’t have the same kind of excitement as the guys.  Obviously I love the mod style, and the song “Let’s Have a Kiki” holds a special place in my heart, but something about it fell a little flat.  Perhaps it’s because it’s harder to take 10 girls who have little personality dance-wise, and all different styles, and have to make them all seem the same.  Ray Leeper definitely made it work.  The girls all looked uniform, but it made the dance not seem as special.

The top 20 dance by Sonya Tayeh was SO disappointing.  I’m getting tired of Sonya’s work.  It’s all the same stuff.  I loved that she branched out last year and made softer pieces.  Her quirky choreography has always been great, but I think that even she may be getting a little tired of it.  However, I think that a lot of my disdain for the work, though, had to do with the fact that you couldn’t see ANYTHING!  The cameras were TERRIBLE during this dance.  The camera angles changed so fast that you couldn’t see what was happening.  There were so many moments that I felt were meant to watch as almost a tableau, and yet you couldn’t see what was happening because the cameras were jumping from one group to the next.  Also, holy smoke, Batman.  No really, what was up with all that fog onstage?  There was SO much that I couldn’t see feet, and I could barely see anyone when they went to the floor!  I’m hoping that the cameramen get better with the group numbers because if they continue as they did with this piece, I’m going to stop watching.

Overall, I’m excited to see what happens with the dancers this season.  I can’t wait to see who is going to come out on top.  Also, curious to see what “celebrity” judges they’ll be having on the show.  I’m always amazed at their choices for judges.  Half of them don’t have much of a background in dance.  The only one I like is Jesse Tyler Ferguson.  He is the dance judge love of my life.  But that’s just me.

Cheers to Season 10!  Can’t wait to see what happens tonight!

Response To An Article About Teaching

Today I happened to stumble across an article from The Huffington Post entitled “A Letter From Your Dance Teacher” by Keesha Beckford (you can read the article HERE ).  Not only was I moved, not only could I relate, but it brought back so many memories of my own experiences with past dance teachers.

The basic gist of the article was that teachers are not here to try to be your friend, but rather to teach.  We are in a society that is trying to boost students and create independence, yet that comes back to us with defiance, and so often the teacher is branded as “disrespectful.”  The teacher in the article explains that often times she becomes overzealous in her teachings, and since her humor borders on sarcastic, she is often misinterpreted as being offensive.  That can cause problems.

I’m very lucky in the respect that my students get it.  Even in my recreational classes, I very rarely have problems where I’m blamed for an outburst or an issue in class.  Like Ms. Beckford, I sometimes have a sarcastic sense of humor.  There is always a certain amount of sensitivity that is required to deal with adolescents.  I’ve found that particularly with the pre-teens, “tweens”, and early teens, it is essential to make sure that what comes out of your mouth doesn’t go too far.  The problem that teachers have to today, and not just in the dance world, is that children become so sensitive, and parents and guardians are so quick to defend their children, that misinterpretation becomes the smoke screen for the real problems.

If I begin to yell at students, it’s because they are pushing to me to a point where I have lost patience.  I have a lot of patience.  I’m not quick to jump to angry yelling.  Students have to constantly be dismissing what I am telling them, misbehaving, and/or not paying attention.  I have not had problems, but I know in certain situations that other teachers have had parents blame them for being mean.

When I was in middle school, I was dancing with an older class as an understudy.  One of the girls in the dance had been injured.  Our teacher at the time was getting frustrated because the girl didn’t know the choreography, nor could she do a good majority of the choreography, because of her injury.  The teacher told her he was pulling her out.  The dancer began to sob, and called home to her mother.  The next thing we know, the mother was interrupting class, blocking the doorway, and screaming at the teacher in front of all the students.  Now, at the time, in my small town dance studio, this was shocking to us.  I had never heard of a “dance mom” or even been privy to a situation where a student was kicked out of a dance.  Not only were we all in shock at the teacher, but we were mostly horrified at the mother.  Everything worked its way out.  The student was still part of the dance, but only because she worked extremely hard over the course of the next few weeks and proved that she could do it.  However, she only got her way because her mother forced the situation at hand. 

A good point was made by the teacher in the article- she noted that when she was in class, the teachers were mean and straight forward, and if that bothered her, she went home to cry and came back the next day to work harder.  If she had a problem with it, she approached the teacher.  This reminded me of a good majority of my college experience.  I came from a recreational studio that turned competitive when I was in 8th grade, and decided that the almost-conservatory-like program at The Hartt School would be a good experience, and a good way to enhance my technique.  I was certainly not prepared for half of the experiences I went through.  I had some teachers that were really cool.  There were teachers that I respected and got along with, and really enjoyed as people.  Then there were the teachers that had methods of teaching that I had never dealt with before. 

My sophomore year of college, I remember a month long period where I came home and cried after every single ballet class with this one teacher.  She was particularly hard on me, and I think it was because she could see my potential.  I didn’t understand at the time why her nails making scratch marks along my legs where my legs should be rotating, or why pulling me up by the nape of the neck until it hurt was going to help me.  I remember being on the phone with mother and sobbing asking if I could come home, and what other options I had to go to other schools.  I’m pretty sure my mid-semester grades were all C’s for ballet.  However, my mother- the amazing role model, advisor, and friend that she was- told me to dig my heels in and continue to work hard.  I did.  The end of the semester brought up my grades to A’s and B’s. 

There were multiple situations in college where I cried over many a difficult teacher.  One teacher screamed at me and threatened to kick me out of class because I had two front chunks of hair fall out of place and into my face.  That teacher wound up giving me the most out of class, and I had never worked harder for a teacher in my life.  Most of my ballet technique that I now pass on to many of my students come from the two teachers that made me cry the most.  And it was because they were hard on me, and the lessons stuck. 

One ballet teacher that I had made me particularly angry one day.  She could tell.  She turned to me and told me that she didn’t care if I was angry at her.  She told me to take that anger and put it into my dancing.  I then managed to pull off the sharpest triple pirouettes in my life.  That has always stuck.  I love that attitude- “I don’t care if you hate me.  I’m not here to be your friend.  You’re here to learn, and I am here to teach you.”  Not that I want my students to hate me, but sometimes ticking them off can benefit them.

Society has become softer on children.  We want to nurture them and help them grow in a world that’s becoming crueler and harsher.  In the dance world, where it becomes more competitive by the day, there isn’t any room for that.  Obviously, with recreational students, we will continue to help them grow and nurture them in a safe and fun environment where they learn and experience dance as an activity.  In the competitive world, however, I am still going to yell at my students.  I’m going to be hard on the dancers that have the potential, and the dancers that I think will learn and benefit from it.  I will not be mean.  I will not bully.  I do not tolerate anything of the sort anywhere remotely near my classroom.  I will, however, push the dancers that need to be pushed.  I will make them angry at me, then I will make them put it into their dance.  I will be that teacher that MAKES them learn. 

And I will sincerely hope that someday they will look back on it and think “she was a good teacher.” 

Graduating Seniors

Yesterday was the last day of classes for the studio that I teach at.  What that last day also brought was the last day with my graduating seniors.  Throughout the course of my teaching career at the studio, I have had plenty of classes with seniors that have graduated.  From teaching assistants whom I’ve known since I was in high school, to students I’ve only had for a year before they went off to college, none of them get easier, and all of them I am proud of.

It’s always difficult for teachers watch their students “leave the nest” so to speak.  You watch these kids grow and learn, and then suddenly they are off to spread their wings elsewhere.  It’s a humbling experience to think that you as a teacher are just a blip on the radar of their big lives.

The best part of it, though, is knowing that dance has enriched their lives.  Even if you weren’t their favorite teacher, or the class wasn’t the most exciting, it is the art form itself that has taught them so much.  Dance teaches discipline, organization, and structure, while at the same time fostering creativity and artistry.  It gives the students a form of exercise that takes more than just physical stamina, but also a keen mind.  If you’ve done your job, you’ve also given them a sense of confidence and well-being that will last with them.  Dance gives so much.

I often see past seniors when they come home for breaks, or when they’re home for the summer.  I teach in an area where I will actually see a lot of my students.  We go to the same malls, same restaurants, same general public places.  When I see each one, no matter where they are in life, I am always proud of the people that they’ve become.  Each one comes into their own.  It’s wonderful to see the students that were so worried about college applications and decisions on where to go, knowing that they’ve made the right decisions, or if they haven’t, knowing that they’ve made a decision that didn’t quite fit, and are in the process of rectifying that.  I love that.  It’s that self-awareness that dance classes help with. 

I also love to see the reunions with past and present dancers.  The younger dancers always look up to the older girls.  Being able to see them thriving in a world after the studio life is something so great.  Not all the graduating seniors go off to dance-related majors, or even participate in dance teams or what have you that colleges and universities offer.  These younger dancers see the older ones prospering and happy, and they think “I want to be like that.”  And more often than not, these dancers are the best kind of people to look up to.

This time of year with the recitals approaching, I always think back to many of the seniors that I have had.  Many keep in touch through Facebook, or come back and visit.  Particularly around this time of year since many of the college students have just finished out the year and have just made it back home for the summer, I get to see many of them.  Each one of them holds a special place in my heart.

And to my two graduating seniors that I have this year, you both hold special places in my heart as well.

I am excited for this upcoming week to watch my seniors fly, and to watch ALL of my students do their best on the stage!

Hope

For today, I am going to take a break from talking about dance.  I am not typically one to write out my thoughts about current events.  For one time, though, this is too important.

By now, the whole world has heard about the bombings that took place at the Boston Marathon.  It is incredibly tragic.  People who died, children who lost limbs, people who are still in the hospital with traumatic brain injuries.  It's horrific to think that someone would want to do that to people.

And today, even as I type this, there is a massive manhunt going on after one of the two suspects has died, and one is on the run. 

I grew up in a town about 20 minutes north of Boston.  I went on school field trips there.  I went there for theater and dance events.  After college, I spent evenings enjoying the nightlife it has to offer.  I worked in Boston for 4 summers.  I have gone into to Boston just to hang out.  I have attended Red Sox games, Bruins games, and Celtics games, all right in Boston.  Boston is practically my home turf.

I have gone through a vast amount of emotions.  I started out scared for the people I knew that were in Boston for the marathon.  After finding out that my friends and family were safe, my fear turned to sadness.  At points, I felt angry.  I remember watching the video footage of it for the millionth time on Monday, and just crying out "WHY?!" to the air.  Mostly, though, I felt that heavy hearted sadness that can only come with knowing that so much innocence has been ripped away from a city I love so much.

In the days after this circus has started, I have come to terms with the sadness.  Yes, I still have moments of tears, and I will not lie- I feared for many friends this morning who I knew were affected by the lockdown.  What has scared me the most, though, has been the outcry of hopeful violence on this second suspect on the loose.

I can't tell you how many Facebook or Twitter statuses I saw that spewed hate.  "Let's kill this [expletive] and make him pay!"  "We should tear this guy's legs off as punishment!" So many many more were similar.

In times like these, I am disappointed in humanity.  In the wake of the bombings, the world watched as people ran towards the bombs and towards the victims to help.  Marathoners ran to the hospitals to donate blood.  The people who were there saw the carnage and the desperation of the victims.  They are not the ones who are sitting on their computers typing messages of hate.  Those people behind their computers are sadly an influence in this social-media-obsessed age, and it saddens me that they are not focusing on the good that people are doing.

What I want from this tragedy is not for this 19 year old boy who is a suspect to be found dead.  I want him to be found alive, and for him to cooperate.  If he was coerced by his brother, or he had found some kind of hatred in his own heart to turn on a country that had taken him in, I want him to live. 

This is my reasoning.  I want him to be convicted.  I want the family of Richard Martin to be able to look into his face and know that it's over.  I want the family of Krystle Campbell to forgive him for his sickness.  I want all of the families that have been affected in one form or another to know that he is one against billions.  I want this 19 year old to see that in wake of this darkness and pain and hurt that life continues.  Life grows, and that our hearts as a community grow.

Last night, I attended a candlelight walk in honor of those affected by the bombings.  2,500 were reported to have shown up.  We stood on the Salem Commons with flags and candles in our hands.  We listened to the speakers (including John Young) and stood silently.  I have never been prouder than last night to not only be a part of something so big, but something so loving.  There was SO much love being sent out into the universe.  To look around the Commons and see the flickers of light in the dark was such a powerful and hopeful moment for not only the community, but the country.

I want who is responsible to see the amount of love in the communities across the world that this has spawned. I want them to see that these families that he has broken will be put back together.  I want him to see that this is not tearing our country apart, but pulling us together.  I want him to see that even though it seems that he tried to attack the spirit of an international event held by one of the greatest cities in the world, our spirits are stronger than ever, and our convictions are more positive.  I want him to see that he failed. 

I want him to see that in darkness, there is, and always will be, LIGHT. 

I urge anyone who reads this to go out there and do GOOD in the world.  Be kind.  Be hopeful.  Help those in need.  Our world has seen so much tragedy in just one week, not just from the bombings, but from the Texas explosions that has caused more casualties, that we all need to continue to bring the light to our  own lives, and to others. 

Whether you go about it through religion, politics, or just helping a friend or stranger out, send your love out into the world.  We need it.

Teaching While Sick

Welcome back friends!  I have decided to make a triumphant return to my blog.  Between sicknesses, my personal life, my schedule, and other such things, I have had a prolonged absence from here.  I am changing that, however.  With the promise of spring on the way (40’s all week!  Yes, I am calling that the promise of spring!) I am feeling a little more apt to productive behavior.

So the topic I want to tackle today is teaching while trying to conquer a cold.  I’ve had multiple small ailments this winter.  Between a sore throat for a few days, a few days of feeling overall rundown, and most recently a cold that knocked me on my tush, I’ve had to teach on more than one day of not being at my best.

As a teacher, you need to be present for your classes.  There are times when you can go on auto-pilot- whether it’s the warm up that you’ve taught 8 of your same classes since the beginning of the season, or the mere act of running routines- but most often, your students will throw curve balls your way without you seeing them coming.  When you have a compromised immune system, that can be difficult to deal with. 

I was teaching a group of young ballerinas the other day.  As I was calling out a combination, I began to have a coughing attack.  Of course I had to walk away to grab my water and make sure that I could get the coughing out.  I squeaked out as much as I could for them to keep going, but they all stopped what they were doing to stare at me having this minor attack and to ask if I was okay.  Not to say that I don’t appreciate the concern of an 8 year old, however, knowing that I am fine and that it’s just a cough, I had hoped the students would continue on with the combination that they were doing.

Moments like that are difficult.  There are always so many distractions in a class to begin with, particularly with the younger age levels.  They like to look at themselves in the mirror, or giggle at their friends who are playing with their leotard, or the bass for the jazz class in the room next door is blaring, or the students in the lobby made a funny noise, or another teacher came in to ask a question, etc.  The last thing that you want is to become another distraction for them.  Even just a sneeze can become disruption enough to distract the students. 

With the younger levels, I tend to try to ignore it.  If I’m coughing, or my voice is cracking, I act like it didn’t happen.  If the students acknowledge it, I make a minor comment, and then try to steer the class quickly back to what we were doing.  If the students are older, most of the time there is a mutual laugh over it.  “Oh, you’re sick?  Haha, that’s okay.  We all get sick and sound like this!”  Majority of the time, the older students will realize it and move on.

The biggest problem isn’t the students.  The biggest problem for me is the lack of energy from your body working overtime to get better.  Personally, I’m usually a healthy woman.  I don’t get sick often, even if I am tired a lot.  This winter was difficult being sicker than usual.  When I found myself in classes thinking “I really should be in bed right now,” I dug down deep and found ways to fix it.

I found that going into the studio with a clear cut plan for the class made it a lot easier.  When I was following a step by step plan in my head and not letting distractions lead me away from it, the time went by faster.  The students responded better, and they even looked better doing what they needed to.  Usually, I have plans going in, but it’s more of a general plan in my head, rather than a moment by moment lesson.  There were goals for the classes, and because I had to push myself through feeling terrible, I was more likely to stay on the task.

I don’t take cold medications going into class.  I would rather be downing crazy amounts of water and coffee in class than take any kind of pill or liquid that would make me loopy.  I tend to be affected really easily by any sort of medication, so even just taking one sinus cold pill will make me feel fuzzy.  Having my head in a foggy place does not help.  I would rather take some ibuprofen for any pain, and suffer through the minor situations.  As long as I’m not in pain, or feeling nauseous, I usually feel clear headed enough to be on top of my teaching game. 

Knowing your body is the most important part of teaching while sick.  If you wake up in the morning, and you feel as though you won’t be able to get out of bed- don’t try to go into teach.  A cold is something that you can deal with.  A serious sickness like the flu or strep before you’ve been able to see a doctor is not something you should go into a dance studio with.  Particularly since you are working with children, you don’t want to start spreading something that will make the children have to miss class.  Colds, however, are easily dealt with when it comes to teaching.  Even if it’s a struggle, as long as you’re using your hand sanitizer and washing your hands, the students will appreciate you showing up, your boss will appreciate you showing up, and I guarantee that even if you’re feeling tired and rundown, in the end you will appreciate yourself for showing up. 

On that note, I hope everyone is taking their vitamins, eating right, and staying healthy out there! 

Expect more blogs from me soon!

Within the Lines with Urbanity Dance!

On a recent Sunday night, I was sitting at the Red Fez in Boston having a cocktail and chatting with my boyfriend.  There was a slight buzz of excited anticipation in the air.  Suddenly we were called to join a woman who introduced herself as our “Time Troll.”  We gathered around, and suddenly we were being thrown into a journey that I know I will never forget.

This was the start of Within the Lines- the creative dance experience put on by Urbanity Dance, and created by their artistic director Betsi Graves.  My sister, Chantal Doucett, is a company dancer, and I was so glad that she asked me to come see this show.  It was unique, it was creative, it was thought-provoking, and even better- it was aesthetically beautiful. 

Our “Time Troll” was played by Judith Kalaora.  She was FANTASTIC!  I’m not sure if she’s a professional actress, but she truly was unique.  The role of the time troll was to be our guide through the journey of the performance.  When I say “journey” I mean it.  Our group was first ushered to a gallery where we met Constance (danced by Kayla Skerry) and her family portraiture consisting of Lucy (danced by Emily Sulock), Eleanor (danced by Lara Park), and Abigail (danced by Chantal Doucett- my beautiful sister!).  The four were framed in time as a family.  The diversity in movement was wonderful.  It ranged from serious to quirky and even had a “traditional” type dance.  Constance desires to break away from the family and move outside her family portrait and we began to follow her on her journey…

Our time troll brought us to the next gallery where we were told we would be facing our fears.  As we shuffled into the space, a lone dancer stood statuesquely in the middle of the room encompassed by a long, beautiful black and red cape, glowing sinisterly in a red lighting.   This is Vanilicious ( danced by Danielle Pastuszack).  She began to move slowly, and suddenly hands were emerging from the cape (truly frightening, if I might add; like something out of a horror flick).  As the dancer moves, the hands disappear but then are revealed as more dancers, or fears.  Constance timidly walks in to the space to face her fears by facing off with Vanilicious.  The dancers were intense.  The corps work was danced well, but I couldn’t keep my eyes off Danielle.  Her dancing and intense gaze drew you in.  It was no wonder that Constance was tempted to follow here- I would have!  But Constance managed to defeat her fears and move on to the next section.

The group was next led to another gallery where we were in a moment of time where we would experience both being old and being young at the same time.  A group of “nanas” were dancing as young girls dressed in sparkly sequined dresses.  As Constance is taken aback by the feisty little old ladies, their moments are interrupted by young children who are dancing as though they were the old ones.  They were dressed in simple outfits in dark colors.  The juxtaposition of old and young was fascinating and was shown through Constance’s curiosity.  In truth, this was my least favorite part of the show.  The choreography for the first whole part didn’t seem to work for me.  It was as if someone else a little younger and a little more inexperienced had put it together.  While I understood the reasoning behind the sparkly cocktail dresses, I found them extremely distracting, and all I could think about was how miraculous it was that the sequins hadn’t caught and messed the dancers up.  This section was redeemed when the children danced, and the ending part showed maturity in both the dancing and the choreography.  The nanas left, and so did Constance, and we followed her to the next section.

In the next room we were introduced to the Pristinellas- ice goddesses that were allowing Constance, and our group, to be a witness to their ceremonious dance.  Our time troll had told us that winter was on its way (my boyfriend and I turned to each other and said “Winter is coming” as she described that.  Yep, we are Game of Thrones nerds).  The four dancers that play the Pristinellas were tall, long-legged, and beautiful.  They were dressed in nude tops and bottoms, and were “exposed” to show their vulnerability.  The floor was scattered with paper “snow”.  It was absolutely beautiful.  I was completely enchanted by the graceful and solemn movement.  I fought back tears as the girls extended their legs and pointed their toes and temps de fleched into the air.  I was truly touched that these ice goddesses (the so-called “ballerinas” of the company perhaps?) had allowed us to witness their world.  Even Constance just sat and watched in awe and wonder.  To be touched through dance like that is what I look for in performances, and I’m so glad we got to see that.

After our journey through winter, we were told it was time for a commercial break.  How fun!  We were ushered into a little smaller space for what must have only been a few minutes to watch 2 male dancers in Urbanity-wear dance and show us that there were tank tops on sale!  What a unique way to promote!  I thought it was very fun, and creative way to get our attention.

Next we “stumbled” upon a group of dancers in a playground.  A group of younger dancers monk eying around in a playground.  It was so much fun!  They were dressed in coats and leggings and boots (good job for keeping those kids warm!).  This was a great site specific piece.  The kids used the swings, the slides, the seats that spun, etc.  It was even set up that they pulled an “unsuspecting” member of the audience into their playtime (it was soon revealed that he was part of the show.  After a rollicking 5 section version of “Gangnam Style” he revealed a t-shirt that said something about living, and proceeded in blowing bubbles from the slide).

Our final stop brought us into the Urbanity studios.  2 screen projectors were set up and Constance danced between them as images of her in rural scenery flashed on the screens.  The added multi-media effect really impressed me.  Personally, I’m not a big fan of multi-media dance performances, but this fit very well, and got the point across.  Our Time Troll then had a volunteer help her move the screen projectors to reveal a paisley wall.  I’m pretty sure my great-grandmother had a wall similar to this!  As the music started, hands protruded from the wall (again, something out of a horror flick!).  Two dancers emerged (Brian Hernandez and Sindy Katrotic) and began to dance and climb and do unimaginable feats on the wall!  I was amazed by Brian’s strength, and even more impressed by Sindy’s ability to keep up with him!  Their bodies moved and flowed with the design of the wall (they were dressed in costumes that matched the design!  Flashback to the shirt scene in the movie “Garden State”).  They were dubbed as “wallflowers” in the program. 

In the end, Constance returns to the family portraiture a changed woman, and although she didn’t seem to fall back into line, she was able to return and yet keep her new found sense of self.  The choreographer and dancers took their bows, and I was honestly a little sad to have it end.  We were invited to head back to the Red Fez or to go on our merry way.

Overall, the performance was enchanting and captivating.  Even my boyfriend, who has a theater background, but doesn't often go to dance shows, enjoyed it!  I was thoroughly impressed with the level of dancing overall.  The choreography was complex, but not overdone.  It was refreshing to see Betsi’s sense of musicality fit the choreography.  Often times I feel as though choreographers try too hard to match the music, or try too hard to go off beat.  Betsi found the sweet spot.  Not to mention her choice in music was fantastic! 

If all of Urbanity’s shows are this fantastic, you can count me in to be there for every single one from now on!  Bravo dancers, Betsi, and everyone who was involved!  I highly suggest you all check them out at www.urbanitydance.org, or on Facebook or Twitter.  I follow them myself!

Through The Eyes of a Child

It is less than a week away until dance classes start.  During the time that I’m not at my other job or trying to enjoy my last few days of freedom, you can find me at my computer putting together lesson plans and searching for music.  One of the things I begin to think about is teaching in general.  Most years I think about what worked last year, what didn’t, what I experienced from other teachers over the summer, and what material I may have read over the past few months.  I put all that together and create what I think will equal out to be my best teaching yet.

For recreational classes one of the biggest tools I use is putting myself in the place of the child.  I teach multiple ages.  For the older kids, it’s not too hard to imagine what they want out of a class.  If they are in high school and in dance class, they’re there because they want to be.  So teaching a full out class is easy.  Middle school is a little more difficult.  These are important years because usually this is the time that they begin to branch out to school activities, and many times, they leave dance behind.  You want to make the class mature so that they feel like the older kids, but at the same time, they need to be nurtured like their younger counterparts. 

Elementary school age is probably the easiest for me to teach.  I am 28 years old, but I swear I’m a 10 year old at heart.  I love being silly, even if I do have to hold a sense of authority within the classroom.  Often times I come up with fun imagery.  For example- this past summer I had my little ones imagine that they had diamond necklaces around their necks so that they would “show it off”.  This pulled them up, and showed off their collar bones.  Some of the kids became so attached to the idea that in the last few days of their dance camp, they were bringing in various sparkly necklaces to make the imagery come to life.  It was a fun way for both them and me to see the excitement of something working.

I love seeing the world through the eyes of a child.  As we all grow older we think about the seriousness of dance, and the maturity needed for it, and the complicated world of technique and choreography.  Often times, I find it wonderful to just step back from it all and watch as the children dance.  It’s a reminder that dancing isn’t just about the technique.  It’s not about the steps.  It’s the love and passion that the kids have for it.  It’s a good reminder about life, too.  Adults like to think about the steps- what is the next step in my life?  What do I have to do to get from point a to point b?  Where will point b take me?  We don’t step back often enough to look at the sunset on our way home from work, or watch as our friends and family grow into people we enjoy even more on a daily basis.  We become competitive and narrow-minded.  Children don’t think that way. 

Children live their lives in the moment.  They go to dance classes to learn, and they are learning something that they enjoy.  They have fun doing something that is enriching their minds, bodies, and souls.  They are becoming well-rounded people.  To watch children grow is amazing enough, but to watch them blossom as the result of dance classes is something that I am honored to do.  It is wonderful for me to know that my career is letting me go back to being a child.  I learn as much from them as they learn from me, and that is one of the most amazing aspects of being a teacher.

For just a second today, I ask that you stop and watch a young child in the street.  Watch their curiosity, their happiness.  Watch how they don’t think much about what they are doing, but how much fun they are having while doing it.  Watch the smiles on their faces, and then try to remember what it was like when you were that young.  Put yourself in the shoes of that child, and prepare to be amazed at what will come of it.

A Letter To My Younger Self

I follow TEDTalks on Twitter and Facebook.  Recently there was a post about writing a letter to a younger you.  What advice would you give?  What tid bits would you give to your younger self?  Dance Spirit magazine also does a feature every month where they choose a dancer to write their former self. In light of both of these, I decided that maybe it was about time to write a letter to a young BalletJ. 

(A young BalletJ, circa 1998, hip hop costume!)

A Letter To My Younger Self

Dear Young BalletJ,

You are a free spirit.  You thrive on creativity and don’t often follow the beaten path.  At times, it’s hard, particularly since you always want to be so accepted by your peers.  However, this difficulty is what makes you realize that it’s not worth it later on in life.  The things that you have done in your childhood, teen years, and young adult life- the hours of dancing, the creative stories you’ve written, the effort you’ve made to make music a part of your life (even if you did despise those private flute lessons for a long time),  your decision to stay straight edge- they have all made you a better person today.

Don’t take things too seriously.   Laugh every so often at yourself. Your teachers are going to get mad at you (come on, you know you’re stubborn!).   You may be threatened to get kicked out of class once or twice for having hair fall in your face.  Your teachers may push your buttons to the point where you want to walk out of class, but stick to the dancing.  Remember that your emotions may run high, but acting as a professional will get your farther along in your career as both dancer and teacher if you remain calm.  You are only treated this way by these people because believe that you can handle it.  They wouldn’t push you if they didn’t think it was worth it.

There’s the thing- you ARE worth it!  Believe in yourself!  You are often so doubtful in your capabilities as a dancer that you don’t just GO for it!  Push yourself to your limits.  Reach a little farther, tilt a little more on your leg, push that straddle down a little more- it will all pay off.   Your teachers clearly trust in your capabilities, so you should, too! 

Do what makes you happy.  If going into dance is making you miserable, then don’t go to class.  I can guarantee you that you will only go through one period in your life where you won’t want to dance.  Remember that dance is your passion, and that you love it.  Dance has always been what makes you happy, even through the injuries, the broken hearts, the criticisms, and the disasters.  It’s been your only constant in life, and it will continue to be your constant.  No matter what anyone tells you- “it doesn’t pay enough” “you’ll never make a living off of it” “it’s not a real job” “what are you going to do when you want to retire?” “you’re not good enough to make it anywhere” etc- you will always have it.  That drive to prove everyone wrong will help, but it’s your tenacity to follow your dreams that will keep you hungry for dance.

You are unique.  You are a good person.  You LOVE dance.  Don’t lose that.  These qualities better your chances for being where you want to be.  Always continue to grow and learn, and never ever lose your hunger for more. 

Keep those feet pointed!
An Older Wiser BalletJ

Self-Discipline in the Dancer's World

Several months ago, I thought my life was going to hit a dark place.  I was fortunate enough to realize that it wasn’t a time to go to a dark place, but rather a place of light and happiness.  However, I sought friendship from people that I hadn’t talked to in a long time, and surrounded myself in a group of people that I knew would help in that journey.  In this time, I conversed with a friend that I hadn’t had a significant chat with in ages.  In the process of catching up, he suggested to me that I read a book to help me with my dancing and teaching.  It was only recently that attained this book and started reading. 

I’m only halfway through and it has changed my perspective on everything as a teacher.

I don’t know about any other teacher out there, but I know that there are days when using the week be fore’s lesson plan is easier than making up a new one.  Whether it’s the fact that you’re tired from that second or third job, or you had an opportunity to have lunch with a friend instead of create the lesson plan that you’ve put off doing all week, or your creativity for the week has seemed to run dry, there are situations that prevent us all from getting done what needs to be done.  These “situations”, however, are just excuses. 

The book that I am reading talks about personal resistance.   It’s not being able to get over that hump.  It’s about saying “I can totally do this later” or “I can definitely use last week’s lesson plan instead of creating one that will further enrich my students.”  These are situations that we create within ourselves.  These are situations that are easily moved past.  These are situations that require a self-discipline.

One thing that I have always loved about dance is that it is a necessity to acquire self-discipline.  You can’t be a student and expect to grow and develop without taking the initiative, and feeling the drive and motivation to better  yourself.  As a dancer, you need to stretch before you come into class.  You need to know that if your ankle is feeling tight you need to go home and rest it instead of going out with your friends.  If you’re a competitive dancer, you sacrifice a lot of your social life to be able to go to classes and competitions on the weekends.  If you’re a ballerina in a performing arts school, or a ballet school, you sacrifice having any sort of life outside of ballet.  Many dancers learn at a young age that they have to become independent and self-driven to achieve their dreams of becoming something great.

From a teaching perspective, there is a required amount of discipline as well.  Not only are you in charge of a group of children, but you are in charge of their development.  That is a heavy weight to carry.  On top of students’ development, a teacher is in charge of their own development as well.  Whether it’s taking the time to go take a class, or reading up on choreographers, or taking more courses in school that help you better understand a dance class, it’s about broadening your own horizons so you can pass the knowledge on to your own students.

Being a dancer and being a dance teacher is a wonderful journey.  You are constantly learning- there is no point where you will know it all.  The industry itself is in constant state of evolution.  Legs are kicking higher, revolutions in turns are becoming more, the dances are becoming faster, and there is an overall desire to create stronger and more flexible dancers.  As the industry demands more, we as teachers must demand more.  That includes not only from our students, but from ourselves.  This is our self-discipline. 

Take the time each day to enrich your dance life.  Take the time to finish that biography on Twyla Tharp.  Got no one to go with to see that ballet you were interested in?  Go by yourself!  Take that class from that teacher that you’re terrified of being judged by.  Overcome that demon inside that is telling you to slack, or the one that is telling you that you can’t do as much as you’d want to.  Not only will it better you and your students, but the sense of accomplishment you will feel afterwards will be worth it all.

I’ve overcome my first personal resistance of the day now.  How about you?