Recently there has been so much going on in my life. I just turned 30 a month ago (scary! I don't feel it!). I gave my 2 weeks notice at the restaurant I've been working at. My schedule has been all over the place, my personal life has been in upheaval, and then something really sad happened- I lost my grandfather last week.
I tend to not get super personal on this page when I write. It's typically just not needed on a dance blog. I share anecdotes about my teaching experience or give my opinion on the way I think things should be. Other than that, I tend to keep my soul out of this. Today though, I'm going to share a little more than usual.
I'm coming back to writing for a reason. I have never had a ton of confidence in my writing. I love to write. Man, I LOVE to write. There is nothing better than just letting your heart pour onto a piece of paper, or letting it flow from your fingertips to a keyboard. It's satisfying. And it's a piece of you that is physically put out into the universe for people to witness. I would have become a writer of sorts had I not chosen dance as a career path. I have just never fully thought that I would be able to have enough to say to the world, or enough of anything of significance to put myself out there. It's scary to put your thoughts and ideas out there for the public. Everyone has an opinion, and when I'm not entirely sure of my own self worth as a writer, negative opinion can be damaging, discouraging, and all around unenjoyable.
Part of the reason that I've only sporadically been blogging is because I feel as though people don't read this. That's okay, but what is a blog if no one is there to read it? If a tree falls in the woods... Well, you know the saying. Upon losing my grandfather this week, I got the opportunity to go see some family members that I sadly have not seen in a while. They all love that my sister and I dance. They love to ask us about how our teaching is going and what we are doing for choreography. My grandmother in particular loves to ask me about Dancing With the Stars and So You Think You Can Dance. My second cousin's daughters even dance at a prestigious school down on the south shore so I had the chance to talk to his wife about them and see pictures.
What I didn't realize was that they love my blog.
My grandfather was that connection to the digital world for some of my family. I have family members that hate computers and the internet. I totally get that. I fully intend someday to wipe myself from all social media, but not until I'm much older (she says as she puts her blog on the internet...). My grandfather however, had an email, and a Facebook. Through Facebook, I believe that's how he found my blog. He would print out my blog articles and give them to family members who in turn would have other people read them.
To me, this is all the motivation I need.
If this blog only makes it to my family, then it's serving a purpose. Obviously I would love for this blog to be famous world wide, and get accolades and I would get paid to write, but hey I'd love to win the lottery, too, but that won't happen anytime soon! If this page only gets to my family, and then in turn they only hand it out to a few people, then it's got a reason.
I've always been a family girl. People and relationships are the most important things in my life. I'm not always the best at picking up the phone or setting up Skype dates with friends, but I think about the important people in my life constantly. Particularly my mom and dad. Not only have those two put up with more crap from me (the middle school years were a particularly trying time that I'm surprised I made it out alive) but they have supported me throughout my life in all that I've wanted to do. Both of them are huge advocates of my writing, and i should listen to them when they say I need to write more. My boyfriend as well is a major support for my writing. He sees how much I love it and how happy I am when I get blog entry out. That little extra push from my family members on my dad's side is going to be such a big help.
So this blog is about dance, and it will continue to be about dance, but it's for my family, my boyfriend, my friends, myself, and YOU!
So thanks for reading this blog. With more time coming up, and actually having blogger on my iPad now, I'll be more inclined to write. Stick with me friends, and I'll stick with you!
No comments:
Post a Comment