Today I happened to stumble across an article from The Huffington Post entitled “A Letter From Your Dance Teacher” by Keesha Beckford (you can read the article HERE ). Not only was I moved, not only could I relate, but it brought back so many memories of my own experiences with past dance teachers.
The basic gist of the article was that teachers are not here to try to be your friend, but rather to teach. We are in a society that is trying to boost students and create independence, yet that comes back to us with defiance, and so often the teacher is branded as “disrespectful.” The teacher in the article explains that often times she becomes overzealous in her teachings, and since her humor borders on sarcastic, she is often misinterpreted as being offensive. That can cause problems.
I’m very lucky in the respect that my students get it. Even in my recreational classes, I very rarely have problems where I’m blamed for an outburst or an issue in class. Like Ms. Beckford, I sometimes have a sarcastic sense of humor. There is always a certain amount of sensitivity that is required to deal with adolescents. I’ve found that particularly with the pre-teens, “tweens”, and early teens, it is essential to make sure that what comes out of your mouth doesn’t go too far. The problem that teachers have to today, and not just in the dance world, is that children become so sensitive, and parents and guardians are so quick to defend their children, that misinterpretation becomes the smoke screen for the real problems.
If I begin to yell at students, it’s because they are pushing to me to a point where I have lost patience. I have a lot of patience. I’m not quick to jump to angry yelling. Students have to constantly be dismissing what I am telling them, misbehaving, and/or not paying attention. I have not had problems, but I know in certain situations that other teachers have had parents blame them for being mean.
When I was in middle school, I was dancing with an older class as an understudy. One of the girls in the dance had been injured. Our teacher at the time was getting frustrated because the girl didn’t know the choreography, nor could she do a good majority of the choreography, because of her injury. The teacher told her he was pulling her out. The dancer began to sob, and called home to her mother. The next thing we know, the mother was interrupting class, blocking the doorway, and screaming at the teacher in front of all the students. Now, at the time, in my small town dance studio, this was shocking to us. I had never heard of a “dance mom” or even been privy to a situation where a student was kicked out of a dance. Not only were we all in shock at the teacher, but we were mostly horrified at the mother. Everything worked its way out. The student was still part of the dance, but only because she worked extremely hard over the course of the next few weeks and proved that she could do it. However, she only got her way because her mother forced the situation at hand.
A good point was made by the teacher in the article- she noted that when she was in class, the teachers were mean and straight forward, and if that bothered her, she went home to cry and came back the next day to work harder. If she had a problem with it, she approached the teacher. This reminded me of a good majority of my college experience. I came from a recreational studio that turned competitive when I was in 8th grade, and decided that the almost-conservatory-like program at The Hartt School would be a good experience, and a good way to enhance my technique. I was certainly not prepared for half of the experiences I went through. I had some teachers that were really cool. There were teachers that I respected and got along with, and really enjoyed as people. Then there were the teachers that had methods of teaching that I had never dealt with before.
My sophomore year of college, I remember a month long period where I came home and cried after every single ballet class with this one teacher. She was particularly hard on me, and I think it was because she could see my potential. I didn’t understand at the time why her nails making scratch marks along my legs where my legs should be rotating, or why pulling me up by the nape of the neck until it hurt was going to help me. I remember being on the phone with mother and sobbing asking if I could come home, and what other options I had to go to other schools. I’m pretty sure my mid-semester grades were all C’s for ballet. However, my mother- the amazing role model, advisor, and friend that she was- told me to dig my heels in and continue to work hard. I did. The end of the semester brought up my grades to A’s and B’s.
There were multiple situations in college where I cried over many a difficult teacher. One teacher screamed at me and threatened to kick me out of class because I had two front chunks of hair fall out of place and into my face. That teacher wound up giving me the most out of class, and I had never worked harder for a teacher in my life. Most of my ballet technique that I now pass on to many of my students come from the two teachers that made me cry the most. And it was because they were hard on me, and the lessons stuck.
One ballet teacher that I had made me particularly angry one day. She could tell. She turned to me and told me that she didn’t care if I was angry at her. She told me to take that anger and put it into my dancing. I then managed to pull off the sharpest triple pirouettes in my life. That has always stuck. I love that attitude- “I don’t care if you hate me. I’m not here to be your friend. You’re here to learn, and I am here to teach you.” Not that I want my students to hate me, but sometimes ticking them off can benefit them.
Society has become softer on children. We want to nurture them and help them grow in a world that’s becoming crueler and harsher. In the dance world, where it becomes more competitive by the day, there isn’t any room for that. Obviously, with recreational students, we will continue to help them grow and nurture them in a safe and fun environment where they learn and experience dance as an activity. In the competitive world, however, I am still going to yell at my students. I’m going to be hard on the dancers that have the potential, and the dancers that I think will learn and benefit from it. I will not be mean. I will not bully. I do not tolerate anything of the sort anywhere remotely near my classroom. I will, however, push the dancers that need to be pushed. I will make them angry at me, then I will make them put it into their dance. I will be that teacher that MAKES them learn.
And I will sincerely hope that someday they will look back on it and think “she was a good teacher.”
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